Meet Mr. Sassy Pants. This is Zach’s younger brother. Yea, I know he is a snowman. Move along people. There is nothing to say here. Hehehe! Anyway, this is my reason to smile.
You see, this snowman has on Zach’s toboggin’,his head gets cold. 😳
Do you know the main reason Mr. Sassy Pants makes me smile? It’s because when I told Zach that I put his hat on the snowman, we shared a laugh. To any mom of a teenager, that would be priceless.
Here I am. Sitting at the antique desk that was left inside the house. The house that was left to me by my aunt. I bit my lip as I peered out at the farmland that would soon need to be tended. Who would I choose? The trustworthy family-owned business. It seemed like the best choice for me. Farm life was going to be my permanent life from here on out. Farm life is how I wanted my life to be anyway. I thought about my current situation. After a few seconds I snapped my thoughts back to reality. Then I got up from the desk chair. I walked to the kitchen to fix me a snack and pour me a drink. Pepsi was my drink of choice. A Pepsi with a glass full of ice. Once I was satisfied with the amount of cheese and crackers, I decided my snack would fill me for now. Then I decided to walk out to the porch. I found the old rocking chair my aunt would use to admire the livestock along with the acres of farmland. I noticed the old rake I used to clean out the horse stalls. The rake was laying on the side of the barn. This would trigger my thoughts to so many memories of farm life. When I was younger, I had dreams of leaving my small hometown. These thoughts brought me back to the place I was in New York. My psychiatrist practice. The next few chapters will retell my story.
I had established my own office (business) during my early thirties, right after I graduated from William and Mary. A university in the heart of Williamsburg Virginia. I had just finished a day’s work with my patients. Luckily, my house wasn’t too far from work, in fact my apartment was in the same complex as my office. This made it easy to slip into my pj’s. I eat supper and then settle down on the couch to watch a movie. Then, my lawyer, who was also my aunt’s lawyer, informed me of my aunt’s passing. He also informed me that I was her beneficiary of any physical assets that she owned. Which meant her family farm.
I was thinking. List in your mind all the ways that you feel unworthy. I was listing my ways, going about my business. Then I ended with, ” Lord, I just feel unworthy.” As clear as day, my mind said to me,”You don’t get to decide if you are unworthy. I do. I assume it was the Lord talking to me. At least, the Lord says in his word that we are worthy. So, I’ll go with that.
First of all, I never expected I would be this age. I remember thinking that 2020 seemed like an icon. Wow.! Wasn’t 2020 an icon? I mean a pandemic? C.o.v.i.d was ridiculous. This virus scared the heebie jeebies out of everyone at first. Until it got under control. But first, it took with it a huge number of good people. That in itself is so unfair. Never in a million years did I think … even before we had an idea that our generation would experience a pandemic… Never did I think in my teenage years back in the late (80s eatly 90s) would I turn 50 years old. Here I am, though. Rocking perimentapause like nobody’s business.
So, like I said, instead of feeling like I am unworthy, I should trust what the Bible says about me. Believe what you want to believe. But when it’s you against the world and you feel it, you will want to believe in something extraordinary. You will want to believe in something that gives you hope for your future.
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